Gratitude

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.  Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:1,2,3).

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming...just keep swimming.

We've been home with James for over two weeks.

At times, I am completely amazed at how seamlessly he has fit right into our family and how seamlessly our family has transitioned into a family of five.

At other times, I feel like we are all swimming with our eyes closed…figuring out where we are going as we swim along, always unsure when we might crash into a wall.

We have been intentional during these first few weeks home, to "cocoon" as a family, spending lots of time at home and even more time together.  It has definitely had its desired effect as I can tell James is truly bonding with each one of us, beginning to have an understanding of of his home, feeling comfortable to be himself, and really enjoying all the love and attention.

  In an ideal world, all five of us could have spent these last two weeks at home together; but we couldn't.  Brad had to go back to his demanding job and the girls had to go back to school.

Which meant we all had to be up early, breakfast made, lunches packed, homework completed, harp lessons, dinnertime meetings, art lessons, field trips, forgotten lunch boxes, halloween costumes, homework left at home, dentist appointments…and on and on.

Swimming with my eyes closed I tell ya.

Now to be clear, we are doing really great.  With each day, we are finding our footing and sliding into our new routines and rhythms.  We are light years beyond where I thought we would be at this point...where many families coming home with their little ones usually are.

  We are so very blessed that James is doing so well.  We are experiencing all the normal growing pains of adding to our family and I can absolutely verify that it's true...going from 2 to 3 kids is not too hard  pretty tough.  

There was a moment in China where we had travelled all day and were on our way to our hotel around midnight.  James was asleep in my lap and Ellenie was asleep in Brad's lap.  I looked over at Lillianna who was nodding off with her head against the window.  Any other time in her life I would have gathered her into my lap so she could sleep soundly.  And that's when it hit me...there's only two of us and three of them.

  I just continue to pray that God will guide me in wisdom, fill me with patience, and allow a third arm to grow from my body so I can give them each all they need.

  

As a parent, you often get to experience all four seasons in a day with your children and I can definitely say the same about this journey.  We have some of THE MOST precious, beautiful moments and a few REALLY hard moments combined with LIFE enriching, completely encouraging moments and CRAZY patience trying moments all in one day.  

It's such a joy and a privilege to be a part of James experiencing so many 'firsts'.

First time feeling grass...first time eating ice...first time getting kissed by a dog...first time seeing fire...

first time feeding a goat.

Yes, we got to experience each of these with our girls but they were spread out over time and many when they were much younger than James is now.  It's just so fun to see the wonder, the excitement, and the joy he has with each one.

It's also amazing to see how much progress he has made in our short time home.  From his physical capabilities to his language, from his level of comfort in the car seat to sleeping in his room, we are just so proud of this brave, resilient little boy.   We are sure he had never seen a dog before and certainly not one the size of a small horse.  James was so scared of Boone that first week and screamed a high pitch scream and clung on to me for dear life.  Then, he stopped screaming and just tried to ignore her...

Just two weeks later...

I love seeing James with his sisters.

He is still trying to figure out why they are so nice to him - why they would want to share their toys, make him laugh, or give him kisses.  

We are grateful for what a healthy boy we have

We have begun making the rounds to see doctors and make sure he gets all the all the care he needs.

Here he is at the doctors office looking very unsure and serious

 which doesn't show what a tough cookie he really is.

He is walking more every day.

His determination is incredibly inspiring.

Can I also brag on how smart he is?

This little bit doesn't miss one thing.

He imitates all we say and do...

from putting our hands on our hips to replacing batteries,

we have to pay attention to everything we do in front of him because he'll be doing it next.

Our new normal is very different but delicious.

Our new normal is tiring but terrific.

Our new normal is exhausting but exhilarating.

I am loving our new normal and I am determined to start opening my eyes under water.

Giving Thanks

This was somewhere on the first full day we were home.  Which was a Friday…I think.

It really was all a haze, a blur, a fog.  Not sleeping for 30+ hours and then being teased with five teeny hours of sleep was tough.  The not sleeping continued for a couple more days which was brutal.  The kind of brutal where I couldn't form full sentences or think of how we would ever put on clothes again let alone do the 12 loads of laundry to have clean clothes.   But we poured more coffee and just soaked in the fact that James was really with us in our house…so very thankful he is with us.  There have been so many moments over the past five days where I am overcome with thankfulness. 

Thankful that instead of praying for him as were separated by continents, I am able to pray over him as he is wrapped in my arms.  One night we put James to bed and then came in the girls room to talk and say prayers and it hit me right there in that moment.  All those nights…every night for the last 21 months…we have prayed for our son with our daughters.  Every night prayers for who he would be, prayers about protecting him, prayers for his health, prayers for the process to quicken, prayers for preparing him to be in our family, prayers for his nannies to love him, prayers for our own preparation, prayers for our trip, prayers for him to know our love even before he knew us.  All those prayers…answered.

Thankful for all the joy he is experiencing and for all the overwhelming joy he is bringing to us.  This kid is funny.  And thank goodness he thinks I'm pretty funny too.  So we laugh a lot.  Since we've got to keep things simple for him while he adjusts to everything, you might not get to see this side of him but one day you will.  Oh what a ham.  

Thankful for all he is learning.  He is so smart and is already saying so many english words, using the sign language we've taught him, and observing everything going on around him.  Nothing gets by this smarty pants.

So thankful that he is experiencing the love of family.   Sometimes he must feel smothered with all the hugs and kisses and tickles he gets from us in a day.  But he doesn't show it…he genuinely seems to just LOVE it. 

So thankful that he is showing us more and more of himself.  The more he trusts us and his environment, the more comfortable he feels to be himself.  His whole two year old tantrum throwing self…crazy to be celebrating a tantrum right?

So thankful to be making memories with him each moment.  I do feel sad that I missed two years of him - two years of my son's life.  I can only imagine how precious he was a teeny newborn, how adorable he was at his first birthday, how wonderful it would have felt to hold him when he was so small.  But I'm so much more thankful, grateful, and joyful that I have him now.  He is so beautiful, so smart, so funny, so brave, and so mine.

I am so thankful.

Getting ready to leave China

Our last full day in china was Wednesday, the 23rd.  It was another spectacularly beautiful day.  Two of the other adoptive families had their consulate appointments that morning so we had a leisurely breakfast and began packing and then we they were through, we went to Shamain Island.  This small island is just a bridge across from downtown Guangzhou and is full of colonial buildings and tree-lined streets built by France and the United Kingdom during the 19th century.  It reminds me of a much smaller, mud less populated tranquil New Orleans.  In the more recent past, the US Consulate was located on the island along with a large hotel where most US adoptive families stayed out of convince to the Consulate.  Now that the US Consulate has moved and the hotel is under renovation, the island's shops and restaurants have suffered and only a few are left.  We strolled the beautiful streets and saw many Chinese couples having their wedding pictures made as well as several magazine photo shoots.  We also had lunch at Lucy's, the first all-American restaurant (besides fast food) we've seen in China.  It was a really nice day.

Later we gathered with friends for dinner at Tekila's for Mexican.  (Can you tell we are just a little tired of Chinese food?)  It was the perfect way to end this memorable, magnificent trip.

This is Caroline and her precious little girl.  Caroline and I have a few mutual friends in common and had been introduced by them earlier this year when we realized we were at similar points in the adoption process.  We emailed questions and encouragement for several months, spoke on the phone several times and then got to meet in person in China.  It was so much fun and I'm so thankful for such a sweet gift! 

Our last night in China

These are our precious friends The Abells who we've been with since Chongqing.  Amy and I had known each other just a little before China but actually met in person in at the Beijing airport.  Going through this together will grow your friendship in a hurry.  We are so thankful for this family!

Thursday we woke up and zipped up our bags.  Then we headed down to breakfast..

LaLa enjoying some dragon fruit.

This is James' breakfast…congee cereal, a steamed sticky bun, and some bacon.

Also anything else I'd feed him.

Saying goodbye to our guide Milo at the airport.

The first and only time James' will use his Chinese passport.  Once we get to the States, he will be a US citizen and this passport will just be a souvenir.

"Uh, did you just say we are going to be on this flight for 13 hours?"

Getting' comfy.

My Rockstar traveler.

Mad it Seoul which has a fabulous airport complete with live concerts and

a Hello Kitty Cafe.

I never get tired of reading the translations on various products.

The tag line on this shortbread cookie, known as a Margaret, says 'We made Margaret with Mom's Love."  :)

On the way home, James' decided to start giving exaggerated kisses with a loud Mmmmmwahhhhh!

He also decided to say his first words in English (besides Mama) which were Dada, Uh-Ohhhhh, tickle, LaLa, and shoo-weee which he says like Do-Way.  It makes me laugh so hard.

So basically this kid couldn't have been any better on the looooooooooooong trip home.  He didn't cry at all in three airports, three flights, two layovers, and a long delay.  He did, however, cry and scream the ENTIRE way from Memphis to Jonesboro because he had never been in a carseat.  Since he sat in my lap the entire time we were in China, he was so mad and hurt that I strapped him in that awful contraption.  

This is our very tired family selfie at around 2:30 am.  So thankful to be home!

We assumed that after being awake for so long, we would all crash into bed.  Wrong.

James was so scared of everything in our house, he, I mean we, didn't crash until somewhere after 6.

We want to thank everyone for all their prayers during our trip!  We are so grateful to be home safe and healthy but most of all, to have James home with us!  It's no doubt that God's grace and your prayers carried us through this journey but now, the real adventure begins and we would love your continued prayers as we transition to our new normal.  Thank you!