August 15

 Dear Lillianna,

Today you turn 8.  Oh me.  Eight.  Eight seems like the year of the official...dare I say it...big girl.

But you already are both my baby and my big girl.

You always have been.

Perfectly innocent and quite an old soul at the same time.

At eight years old...

You are curious, cautious, and deeply compassionate.

You love to learn and ask me fantastic questions about the ways of the world every day.

You have always observed the details of nature and amaze me with your ability to remember each detail.

You love animals very, very much right now.

There is no creature too small, too gross, or too strange 

for you to love, to feel sorry for, to want to learn about.

This still includes your jungle, your zoo, your large menagerie of stuffed animals as well.

Oh, how you love them.

You welcome each day with joy and wonder.

I am constantly inspired by your goodness

 and sometimes think, "How does she seem to have life all figured out?"

You desire to be kind, fair, generous, and loving.

You are respectful of rules and don't like being in trouble.

You are considerate of others feelings and try to make everyone feel good.

You are very, very playful.

Many people don't get to see this side of you, at least not right away.

You can still be very shy and love the comfort of home to truly be yourself.

You love to giggle and Ellenie is still the one who can make you laugh the hardest.

Well, Ellenie and the dogs.

Speaking of the dogs, you get in more trouble because of the dogs than anything else.

You love to play with Belle and together so you can make a LOT of mischief.

It drives me bananas but I really do love this silly side of you.

For several years you have mentioned wanting to play the harp.

What?  Did you say harp?  Harp?  Sure honey, the harp.

Those were pretty much the responses from me and your dad.

But this year, at a concert, you said it again and I listened.

We persisted together and found a teacher, a wonderful teacher to teach you harp.

It is such a perfect passion for you and your personality.

Different, special, feminine and beautiful.

I am so proud of you for knowing yourself.

Oh my dear lovie,

If ever there was a wonderful big sister, it is you.

You are extraordinarily patient with your sister.

And all you've ever wanted is for her to be happy.

Which means sometimes you give up what you really want to please her.

It always amazes me and breaks my heart at the same time.

I can't wait to see how incredible you are with your baby brother.

I can't believe you are eight today.

And yet, you are perfectly, wonderfully eight.

You are so perfectly, wonderfully YOU.

I am so proud of you and love you more than you could ever know.

ever.

love,

Mama

LOA

It came.  It really and truly finally came.

We got a call on a Friday that our Letter of Acceptance had been sent

 from China to our agency in Birmingham.

They called the following Tuesday to let us know it had arrived and would be over nighted to us.

We woke up on Wednesday and were SO EXCITED to receive the letter we had been waiting over 4 months for.  We waited and listened for the Fed Ex truck to come.  Near lunch time, we heard it coming down our street and Lillianna and I ran to the window.  Here came the truck towards our house and then...

right past our house.  oh my goodness.

I was not going to wait one. more. day. just because a driver accidentally missed our house.

I yelled," I'll be right back!" and ran out of the house in my flip flops.

Down our long driveway and into the road, I could still hear the rumbly motor of the truck but couldn't see it.

I kept running down our street and up a hill until I could see the truck across another street, in another neighborhood.  I ran like I was in a high school track meet.

He didn't have it!  But he said the next truck, the Express truck would.

Hooray!  We waited some more.

But the truck never came.

So I called, they tracked the package and found out our agency accidentally sent it to Tennessee!

To our old house in Tennessee!

It didn't end there.

The next day it didn't come either.

because Fed Ex accidentally sent it our street address in the wrong city and wrong state!

So finally, 4 days after we were supposed to have it, we did.

Oh me, the journey of this LOA is so representative of our whole adoption journey.

A little wild, a little crazy but all good in the end.

We are just so thankful, so excited, so relieved to be one BIG step closer to James!

Sweet Spot

I'm going to brag.

It has been one of the sweetest summers with my girls.

Super duper sweet.

Full of fun visits, precious moments, lots of laughs, 

hours upon hours of playing,

days upon days of being outside,

and just lots of togetherness.

So much togetherness, that it made me realize

We are in a SWEET SPOT.

These really precious, near-perfect ages where everything 

is still very sweet and innocent, fun and playful

 but not quite so exhausting as those earlier years.

I'm soaking up every moment of this sweet spot.

Now if we could just get their sweet brother home.

The Century Club

 
In the adoption world, we have joined a very unpopular club.  As of today, we have joined the other families who have waited 100 days or more for their Letter of Acceptance from the Chinese government.  No one wants to join this club.  In fact, you are lucky if you don't have to be in it.  But here we are, and there is not anything we can do but be patient, wait, and pray for it to come soon.  I have tried to stay busy with projects, time with the girls, visiting with family and friends to keep my mind off of it.  Some days are better than others.  Today has been hard...I really didn't think we'd have to wait 100+ days.  Today I have wanted to do something for James, to focus on James, to think of James.  Inspired by another Mom, I decided to make a list of a 100 things I can't wait to do when James is home.  The rest of the family got in on the action too.

100 things I can't wait to do when James is home:

1.  Kissing his cheeks
2.  Snuggling him when he's sleepy
3.  Making him giggle
4.  Holding him for the first time
5.  Reading him books
6.  Singing him songs
7.  Bathing him
8.  Watching him play with his sisters in the bath
9.  Rolling a ball with him
10.  Watching Brad with his son
11.  Watching him sleep
12.  Watching him fall asleep
13.  Praying over him in my arms
14.  Listening to him laugh
15.  Feeding him
16.  Seeing him sleep in his crib
17.  Watching him crawling down our hall
18.  Feeling him fall asleep in my arms
19.  Soothing him when he cries
20.  Kissing his angel lips
21.  Feeling him kiss me
22.  Hearing him say MaMa
23.  Haring him laughing with his sisters
24.  Taking him on walks
25.  Watching him play with the dogs
26.  Seeing him 'see' things for the first time
27.  Rocking him in his rooms
28.  Giving him treats
29.  Tickling him
30.  Counting his piggy toes
31.  Waking up with him HERE
32.  Seeing him in the backseat of my car
33.  Seeing his sisters take care of him
34.  Watching him play with his new toys
35.  Teaching him new words
36.  Holding his little hands
37.  Seeing him grow up
38.  Celebrating his achievements - big and small
39.  Being the first one he sees after his surgeries
40.  Tucking him in at night
41.  Comforting him when he gets hurt
42.  Teaching him how to pray
43.  Seeing my children playing together
44.  Playing with him at the park
45.  Saying "my son"
46.  Family pictures with the 5 of us
47.  Watching him with his cousins
48.  Introducing him to friends
49.  Cuddling with him on the couch
50.  Introducing new foods to him
51.  Hearing him run down the hallway
52.  Seeing his sisters share with him
53.  Showing him unconditionally love
54.  Teaching him to ride a bike
55.  Butterfly kisses
56.  Eskimo kisses
57.  Ladybug kisses
58.  Sloth kisses
59.  Taking him to the movies
60.  Making him smoothies and milkshakes
61.  Playing with boy toys
62.  Seeing him play with his boy cousins
63.  Realizing he trusts me
64.  Celebrating the day he has been home 1 year
65.  Bed head
66.  Being exhausted from sleepless nights
67.  Seeing his grandparents fall in love with him
68.  Doing crafts with him
69.  Hearing him sing
--- from Lillianna:
70.  Giving him a very colorful stuffed animal
71.  Showing him the outside world, like a frog
72.  Giving him as much kisses and hugs as I can
73.  Letting him know we are his family
74.  Giving him his first bite of ice cream
---from Ellenie:
75.  Go to Build a Bear with him
76.  Bring him to the beach
77.  Show him how to draw a picture
78.  For him to see Boone and Belle (our dogs)
79.  Show him our house
--- from Brad:
80.  Show him our garden
81.  See him walk at the park and take family walks
82.  Watch Alabama football games with him
83.  Teach him how to swim
84.  Put him to bed in his room
85.  Take him to the hunting camp
86.  Ride in a golf cart
87.  Cut his hair
88.  Love on him
89.  Wrestle with him
90.  Take him for ice cream
--- back to me:
91.  Hearing him call for his sisters
92.  Seeing him run to me
93.  Knowing he is happy
94.  Taking him to see his grandparents
95.  Taking him to see Brad at work
96.  Taking his picture
97.  Knowing he is close by
98.  Knowing he is going to be with us forever
99.  Meeting his needs
100.  Thanking God he is home.

90 days

Today is the 90th day we have been waiting for a document from China.  The wait for this important piece of paper ranges from 30 to 100 days, usually.  So as looooooooooooong and difficult as this wait has felt, surely we are almost to the end.  This document, known as a LOA or Letter of Acceptance, is the next big step in our paper work dance to our son.  Knowing that its paper work, or governmental red tape, keeping us from him can be frustrating.  Especially when I think of how each day is so important, so vital, to his development.  But I'm trusting the timing of this journey to God and I know that one day soon I won't count how many days I had to wait to hold him but will be thankful for how many days I will hold him.

I also know God has used this time to create a deep love for him in all of our hearts and quite a deep longing for him in his Mama's heart.  The girls talk about him like he'll be here tomorrow, planning this activity to do with him or what they want to show him.  I think of him and pray for him what seems like unceasingly throughout each day, picturing how I'll do things once he's here, getting his room ready...just imagining life with him.  Then there are all the times I look at the clock and calculate instantly 13 hours ahead, picturing what he is doing at that moment.  I can't wait for him to be here, to be home.

It does make it better that it's Summertime and we've been busy having fun...

So blessed.

Sunshine

Oh these days.

Full of colorful dresses,

Imaginations running wild,

Stuffed animals,

flowers and rocks,

and puppy dogs.

Perfect.

Easter pictures

Easter morning.

Thought we might be out of town but at the last minute we weren't.

So we got dressed and went to church in the pouring rain.

After Church the rain stopped.

Perfect time for pictures!  Now we need a perfect spot.

That bank parking lot looks good.

May I present....

Easter pics 2013:

Such a sweet smile!

Why yes, I'd  be happy to pose.

IT's TOO BRIGHT TO OPEN MY EYES!

That's better.

Now for a sister shot:

Good.

But I think we can do better.

Um.  Okay.

Could you maybe just try to open your eyes a teeny bit for a tiny second?

Yes!  Like that.

Now if I could just see your smile..

Yes.  Your grimacing smile.

I'll take it!